© 2001- 2024 Linda Aarts
Part 2

**Perhaps.**

Lonely. That was how she felt right now. Goldstar shivered, and wrapped her arms around herself. She was furious when she discovered that Hawkeye let Ripple follow her. She felt so much anger, totally against her nature. Why did he follow everything she did? Why couldn’t she do something without him knowing it? For a moment, she felt a cub again. Then already, both Hawkeye and Talon had taken care of her. She kind of liked it. She especially had feelings for the red-brown haired male: Talon. He was wild, had his own meaning about things, did what he wanted to… And Hawkeye, he had been the silent one, always following rules. She thought of her feelings back then. She liked both of them, but Hawkeye always seemed to be so… soft. And when she and Talon recognized, she had shared her thoughts. Talon had agreed.

It would have been so easy when they had invited him. But they refused him, and she had known that it had hurt the male. She then felt sorry for him, but the new feelings of recognizing; carrying a child and giving birth were so new that she… sort of forgot him. Until the birth she hadn’t almost thought of him, until the birth. And she was so ashamed of herself, that she had refused him to enter. She simply couldn’t see him. The feeling of guilt was so strong; it almost tore her apart. Almost. And she had the same feeling when she heard the fact that he left, after the birth of Stormsong.

The night that Talon got ill, the first person she thought of was Hawkeye. Not only had he been the best friend of Talon, once, but his quiet and peaceful character would help both her and Stormsong with this. The last moments of her lifemate’s life, she had sent with him. He had told her his feelings that he had when both he and Hawkeye had playfully challenged each other for winning her love, feelings of jealousy that he had had, the fear that she would choose Hawkeye above him. And that had shocked her. Talon had regretted his feelings, and let her promise that she wouldn’t tell Hawkeye any of this. And that, she found very difficult. Talon would keep away parts of his feelings from his best friend. From the one that had always accepted the things that happened around him. Hawkeye had accepted their refusal. He had accepted their recognition. He had accepted the fact that she didn’t allow him to be with the birth… after a while. But shepromised it. She would keep his last thoughts for him.

Hawkeye had offered her and her daughter his help, but she couldn’t accept it, afraid to tell the last words of Talon…

**Please, help me find Mudspatter. He has to be here somewhere.** Tiredness and grief could clearly be heard within her sending, and Hawkeye hesitated.

"A lot of strange things have happened these few days," he softly spoke. "Listen, Goldstar. Wildlight has promised to form a search party for the lost bonds. But it is just… too dangerous to be here, at this moment."

Coldnose whined softly, and he began to walk up and down, restless. A vague scent reached Hawkeye’s nose, which made him alert immediately.

Goldstar watched the steps of Coldnose. "I just have to find him." She spoke firmly. And suddenly there was another question.